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Musings of a Queer Bear/Man
How Fucking is like Ballroom 
14th-Jul-2011 12:29 pm
I don't get fucked often.

Hell, I don't do a lot of fucking, for that matter. I mean, I love to fuck and I still have a lot of lust for the act, but I guess lately I find it an extremely intimate act that takes a lot of energy and focus and body positioning (I have long thighs), and so I don't do it a lot... just on occasion... with the right guy.

But I digress.

I don't get fucked often. A lot of guys don't immediately see me as the "please fuck me" type. For some reason, a lot of guys (straight as well as gay) think you are either a top or a bottom... period. This to me is silly. Personally, I love giving and receiving pleasure in equal portion. Sometimes there is, underneath the top/bottom mentality, a kind of sexism involved... you know, "tops are most valued because they are the men, and men are more valuable than women, thus bottoms are womanly and less valuable." Seriously, I think that's an unconscious thing for many guys... lingering sexism in the bedroom. It's absurd, of course, since both actors in gay sex are men, so the argument is bogus there, and everyone deserves the same kind of respect whether top or bottom.

But I digress.

I don't get fucked often. But I've been fucked enough to know when I'm being fucked by someone who knows something about fucking. And last weekend, I got fucked (twice) by a guy who really, really (no, really) knew what he was doing. I mean, I thought I knew something about fucking, but I was wrong. This guy was extraordinary.

Now first off, let me be clear, it wasn't because he had a huge dick or because he was particularly nasty talking (which, you may know, turns me on) or even that he lasted forever. These things are fine, but they aren't what made this guy an incredible top. This guy was an incredible top because he was extraordinarily attentive to the act.

First of all, he noticed (through touch, mostly) that, as a guy who doesn't get fucked often, I'm a little tight. So he massaged me a little and, between that, he dived in and gave me the rim job of my life... paying attention, not just to the hole, but to the whole area... licking the back of my thighs and my balls and my cheeks, loosening me up and relaxing me. He was very enthusiastic and by the time he was done, damn I was ready for anything.

Next, we tried a position that should have worked well, but because my knees were heavily stressed, it just caused me to tense back up... so... that wasn't going to work. So he patiently tried another tactic, which wasn't good for him because his cock tends to bend slightly and the way I am made, it didn't fit well. So I turned over, on my other side, and began the slow push in.

He patiently moved short strokes in and out, feeling the tense and release inside me... until that magic moment when I felt my body just give in... And he felt it, too. And we fucked like rabbits in heat.

Now listen, I know it doesn't sound spectacular... but think about the last time you got fucked. Did you BOTH come away feeling really good and fulfilled? Was it all about the slam and the bam and none of the prep time? Fucking is supposed to feel good. That's the way it's supposed to be. So many guys (at least in my experience) think fucking needs to be a painful, only slightly fulfilling experience... but it doesn't. As long as you communicate what's working and not working, take the time to both be ready and "fitting" each other well. You see, in a way, men need foreplay and attention, too.

Fucking is like ballroom dancing (yeah, now there's an image for ya!). Each partner is required not only to "get theirs," but to be aware of the other as well. Beautiful ballroom is when two bodies are sync'd up... aware of each other's moves and changes in mood. Without this awareness, there's nothing but shin splints and torn tendons left and a very ugly situation.

A simple observation. One you probably didn't need to hear. But one that was on my mind. Mostly because of my friend... who may be reading this now. His attentive technique was hot and perhaps even, the best fuck I've ever experienced. Thank you, J.
15th-Jul-2011 04:10 pm (UTC)
Well put, my man!
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